Note: I wrote most of this post in November of last year and began revising it a few months later. I’m not sure why I’ve been sitting on it for so long. Perhaps because I hoped against hope that the clouds hanging over us would lift—”bird by bird”. They haven’t. Given the events of the last two weeks, given that yesterday we marked Holocaust Remembrance Day, it’s time.

On November 22, 1963, dumbstruck after learning in study hall that President Kennedy had been gunned down in Dallas, I sat down in 7th period chemistry class waiting for Mr. Malone to say something, anything, of comfort or support. What he said, instead, was this:

When I heard that President Roosevelt died, I ran outside to my father, who was working in the garden. “The President’s dead!” I said. “What are we going to do?” He looked up at me and replied, I don’t know what you’re gonna do, but I’m just gonna keep on diggin’ patatas.”

I was horrified. I suspect others in the class were, too, though no one said a word. When the sky, for all we knew, was falling—not an unreasonable assumption in the depths of the Cold War—–Mr. Malone simply went on with the day’s lecture.

At the time I condemned the comment as callous and political, which, frankly, it probably was. Many hated JFK enough to be glad that he was gone. But there’s another possibility, akin to what happens when life hits you square in the face: a loved one dies, a job is lost, there’s a bad diagnosis, the river spills over… when you wish you could stand up like a traffic cop and make everything just STOP.

Once, back when there was still reasonably reliable TV news, I saw an interview with a person living in the midst of an ongoing war. The reporter’s question was, “How do you live with this? How do you do it everyday, with this fear, these attacks?” The response was, “Sooner or later, somebody has to go out to buy milk.” Or, I suppose, “dig patatas.”

Yet this is not normal, not the way anything is supposed to be.

So, how are you getting on? How are we all getting on? Bird by bird, I suspect. With little wins (there are a few, here and there—hopefully, there will be more) and small pleasures. Calling and emailing Washington. Standing up how and when we can. Cheering Pope Leo on. For me, making bread. Walking Enzo. Kids (my own, the grown-up kind) and grands, and the littles in our neighborhood. Binging Ted Lasso, yet again The special joy of cousins (I just met a new one for the first time!). Coffee. Looking for ways to help, and then helping. Reading. More reading. Writing. Being grateful.

And all the while, continuing to try desperately to piece this shattered glass together. All we can do, in the end, is the best we can do.

God bless and keep the people of Minnesota, Maine, and all others under siege, God grant rest to the martyrs, God give comfort to those who are suffering and living in fear. God give us the courage we need, and then some.

*Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird – Some Instructions on Writing and Life is my favorite book about writing ever, and one of my favorites on life in general. You can follow her on social media for honesty and inspiration. Or read the book! Credit to my son Chris for introducing me to it.

Thanks to all of you who read this blog and take the time to comment, even though I haven’t been especially faithful or vocal in the last year. I continue to work my way back and appreciate every single one of you.